How to navigate the Perfection Trap as a young Kenyan

Perfectionism as a heavy weight in life - symbolized by a person in chains attached to a prisoner ball to show that Perfectionism can cause suffering

Ever wonder why the pursuit of perfectionism seems to weigh so heavily on your shoulders?

In a world that demands constant perfection, it’s easy to lose sight of what truly matters: your mental health. Perfectionism thrives on a fear of failure and a desire for external validation. It manifests in endless revisions, procrastination, and an aversion to trying new things. Recognizing these patterns is crucial to overcoming them

This article delves into the best ways for young people to overcome Perfectionism and Prioritize your Mental Health, including its definition, causes, types, and best-coping methods.

What is Perfectionism

Perfect or Progress arrow road or street sign to illustrate the different opposite paths of aiming for perfection and delaying moving forward or progressing without waiting for perfection

Perfectionism is a personality trait that is characterized by a tendency to set extremely high, rigid, or “flawless” goals and place excessive demands on oneself and others. In other words, Perfectionism is the tendency to set excessively high standards for oneself and others.

How To Overcome Social Media Anxiety and Depression

There are 3 common types of perfectionism you may experience; self-oriented, other-oriented, and socially prescribed.

Self-oriented perfectionism refers to the tendency to place excessively high demands on yourself. Other-oriented perfectionists set high expectations on another person or people—often a partner or children. Finally, Socially prescribed perfectionism refers to the perception that others expect you to be perfect. 

What are the causes of perfectionism?

Is perfectionism born or made? If you are a Generation Z, you are exposed to digital fluency, social awareness, and entrepreneurial spirit. However, you also face unique challenges, one of the most pressing being the pressure of perfection. It is heavily fueled by social media, ambitious societal expectations, and a competitive environment,.

  1. Academic and Career Competition: High-stakes academic environments and competitive workplaces often emphasize achievement and success, which can lead individuals to adopt perfectionistic standards to excel and gain approval from peers and authority figures.
  2. Social Media Influence: Constant exposure to curated images of success and perfection on social media platforms can heighten feelings of inadequacy and prompt individuals to compare themselves unfavorably to others, fueling perfectionistic tendencies.
  3. Cultural Expectations: Societal norms that prioritize success and high achievement can create pressure to meet unrealistic standards, fostering a culture where perfectionism is not only common but often rewarded.
  4. Parental Expectations: Children raised in environments where parental approval is contingent on high performance may develop perfectionistic traits, believing that their worth is tied to their achievements.
  5. Fear of Failure and Rejection: An intense fear of failing or being judged negatively can drive individuals to pursue perfection as a means of avoiding criticism and maintaining self-esteem.
  6. Dysfunctional Beliefs: Rigid thinking patterns, such as viewing situations in black-and-white terms, can lead to unrealistic expectations and a persistent sense of inadequacy when those standards are not met.

How to tell if you are Suffering from perfectionism

Wondering what are the common symptoms and traits of perfectionism? If you find yourself constantly striving for flawlessness, spending excessive time and effort to reduce mistakes, and feeling a profound sense of dissatisfaction with your achievements, you may be a perfectionist.

Perfectionists often display certain behavioral tendencies, such as setting extremely high personal standards, being overly critical of themselves, and having a strong fear of failure. They may also exhibit rigid thinking patterns, where any small mistake is seen as a complete failure. Perfectionists tend to be driven, organized, and reliable, but can also become excessively anxious and self-critical when their unrealistic expectations are not met.

 Other signs include hypersensitivity to criticism, difficulty delegating tasks, and a tendency to procrastinate due to fear of imperfection. Perfectionism can lead to increased stress, anxiety, depression, and burnout, ultimately impacting your overall well-being and quality of life

The Price of Perfectionism on Your Mental Health

As you grapple with a relentless pursuit of flawlessness there are significant impacts on your mental health. The key consequences are anxiety, stress and depression, constant burnout and body image issues.

Perfectionism can significantly contribute to anxiety and stress, as the relentless pressure to achieve and the fear of failure create a cycle of chronic worry. Individuals may experience physical symptoms such as headaches, fatigue, and difficulty sleeping as their bodies respond to this constant tension. This heightened state of anxiety can become overwhelming, making it challenging to focus on tasks and enjoy daily life.

Additionally, the “hustle culture” mentality often leads to burnout, characterized by emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion from prolonged stress. Burned-out individuals may feel cynical and detached, resulting in decreased productivity and motivation. Furthermore, the pursuit of unattainable standards can negatively impact mental health, leading to low self-esteem and depression. This struggle is compounded by social media’s emphasis on unrealistic beauty standards, which can fuel body image issues and contribute to eating disorders, further affecting overall well-being.

Overcoming perfectionism; Best 6 Strategies for Prioritizing your Mental Health

Recognizing the detrimental effects of the pressure for perfection is the first step. Here are the 6 best strategies you can adopt to overcome perfectionism and prioritize your mental health.

  1. Challenge the Perfection Myth & Embrace Imperfections: Understand that perfection is an illusion, often fueled by the unrealistic portrayals we see online. Instead of striving for flawlessness, focus on your unique strengths and embrace your imperfections. View mistakes as learning opportunities and remind yourself that everyone makes them.
  2. Practice Self-Compassion & Redefine Success: Treat yourself with kindness and understanding, especially when you fall short of your expectations. Replace negative self-talk with affirmations that celebrate your efforts. Redefine success on your terms, prioritizing personal growth, happiness, and fulfillment rather than external validation or comparisons.
  3. Set Realistic Goals & Prioritize Work-Life Balance: Avoid comparing yourself to others and set goals that align with your values and interests. Make sure these goals are realistic and achievable. To maintain balance, set clear boundaries between work and personal life, allowing yourself time to relax and engage in activities you enjoy.
  4. Mindfulness & Disconnect to Reconnect: Incorporate mindfulness practices like meditation and deep breathing into your routine to help manage anxiety and stay present. Additionally, take regular breaks from social media to reconnect with yourself and the world around you. Engage in hobbies, spend time in nature, and build real-life connections.
  5. Prioritize Sleep & Healthy Habits: Ensure you get 7-8 hours of quality sleep each night by creating a relaxing bedtime routine. Additionally, nourish your body with nutritious foods and engage in regular physical activity. These habits can improve mood, cognitive function, and your ability to handle stress.
  6. Seek Support & Practice Gratitude: Don’t hesitate to seek help from a therapist if you’re struggling with perfectionism, anxiety, or depression. Friends, family, and support groups can also provide emotional support. Cultivate a gratitude practice to focus on the positive aspects of your life, shifting your perspective and enhancing overall well-being.

How to Overcome Social Media Perfectionism

Social media often portrays a curated, unrealistic version of reality. Here’s how to navigate it:

  • Curate Your social media Feed: Follow accounts that inspire and motivate you, not those that trigger feelings of inadequacy. Unfollow accounts that promote unrealistic beauty standards or boastful success.
  • Limit Screen Time: Set boundaries for social media use. Take regular breaks and schedule time away from your phone to disconnect and focus on real-life interactions.
  • Focus on Authenticity: Share your genuine experiences, including struggles and vulnerabilities. This can connect you with others and show that everyone faces challenges.

Shifting Your Focus from perfectionism to a Growth Mindset

Instead of fixating on the perceived shortcomings in yourself compared to others, shift your focus on your own growth journey. Embrace a growth mindset, believing that your abilities and talents can be developed through hard work and dedication. View challenges as opportunities to learn and improve, rather than roadblocks to success. This approach allows for self-compassion in the face of setbacks and fosters a sense of empowerment to persevere.

Key Take Aways:

  • Progress, not perfection, is the true measure of success.
  • Celebrate your achievements, big and small.
  • You are not alone in your struggles with perfectionism.
  • Take care of your mental health – it’s essential for your overall well-being.

In conclusion

By following these tips, you can navigate the pressure of perfectionism, prioritize mental health, and build a life filled with self-acceptance and meaningful connections. The key to combating perfectionism lies in redefining success on your own terms. Instead of chasing the idealized versions of success presented online, set goals that are meaningful and align with your own values. Focus on growth, learning, and overcoming challenges. Celebrate small wins and acknowledge the effort you put in, not just the final outcome. Success is not the absence of flaws, but rather the continuous journey of growth and self-improvement.

Additional Resources

Understanding the Psychology Behind Perfectionism

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